| Negative Cognitions | Positive Cognitions |
| RESPONSIBILITY: I AM SOMETHING “WRONG” | |
| I don’t deserve love. | I deserve love; I can have love. |
| I am a bad person. | I am a good (loving) person. |
| I am terrible. | I am fine as I am. |
| I am worthless (inadequate). | I am worthy; I am worthwhile. |
| I am shameful. | I am honorable. |
| I am not lovable/unlovable. | I am lovable. |
| I am not good enough. | I am deserving (fine/okay). |
| I deserve only bad things. | I deserve good things. |
| I am permanently damaged. | I am (can be) healthy. |
| I am ugly (my body is hateful). | I am fine (attractive, lovable). |
| I do not deserve… | I can have (deserve)… |
| I am stupid (not smart enough). | I am intelligent (able to learn). |
| I am insignificant (unimportant). | I am significant (important). |
| I am a disappointment. | I am okay just the way I am. |
| I deserve to die. | I deserve to live. |
| I deserve to be miserable. | I deserve to be happy. |
| I am different (don’t belong). | I am okay as I am. |
| RESPONSIBILITY: I DID SOMETHING “WRONG” | |
| I should have done something. | I did the best I could. |
| I did something wrong. | I learned (can learn) from it. |
| I should have known better. | I do the best I can (l can learn). |
| SAFETY/VULNERABILITY | |
| I cannot be trusted. | I can be trusted. |
| I cannot trust myself. | I can (learn to) trust myself. |
| I cannot trust my judgment. | I can (learn to) trust my judgment. |
| I cannot trust anyone. | I can choose whom to trust. |
| I cannot protect myself. | I can take care of myself. |
| I am in danger. | It’s over; I am safe now. |
| It’s not okay to feel (show) my emotions. | I can safely feel my emotions. |
| I cannot stand up for myself. | I can make my needs known. |
| I cannot let it out. | I can choose to let it out. |
| CONTROL/CHOICE | |
| I am not in control. | I am now in control. |
| I am powerless (helpless). | I now have choices. |
| I am weak | I am strong. |
| I cannot get what I want. | I can get what I want. |
| I am a failure (will fail). | I can succeed. |
| I cannot succeed. | I can succeed. |
| I have to be perfect (please everyone). | I can be myself (make mistakes). |
| I cannot stand it. | I can handle it. |
| I am inadequate. | I am capable. |
| I cannot trust anyone. | I can choose whom to trust. |
Jennifer Taylor, M.A., RCC
Online Counselling for Individuals and Couples